Lesbian log twenty-six-ten-twenty-one What’s your why? I once filled my days with people and experiences. My life was like an ion surrounded by protons and electrons whirling around me. My family made up my molecular whole. Outside of that, I had friends, acquaintances, jobs, hobbies, curious pursuits…an entire universe tailored to the life I’d created …
Category Archives: Everyday Ruminations
Questions
Lesbian log zero-seven-ten-twenty-one There are so many questions on this path, and it’s hard moving forward when you question every decision before and after you make it, and while you’re making it. Did I make the right choice? Is this the right path forward? Will I ever be happy? Will I make it through this? …
Numbness
Lesbian log twenty-nine-zero-six-twenty-one The thing I miss the most about chronic depression is the numbness. I excelled at tamping things down so deep that I was barely cognizant of the dissonance. The rumble of discontentment was more like a fly hovering around a wine glass, and I effortlessly shooed it out of mind. This talent …
Drop in the Bucket
Lesbian log twenty-four-zero-six-twenty-one For many, COVID-19 has meant a complete disruption in schedule and programming. Just the daily routine of going into work has been interrupted for many. COVID has had immeasurable impacts on people’s mental health. For those going through trauma and difficult life changes, the repercussions of the pandemic have been devastating. Navigating …
Work in Progress
Lesbian log twenty-three-zero-six-twenty-one In an attempt to stay accountable, this blog will be my litmus test. This morning, I woke up and made it onto the treadmill for a second day in a row. This allowed me to increase the intensity of my jog-to-walk ratio. A positive sign. I am by nature a delicate flower. …
Muddy Boots
Lesbian log twenty-two-zero-six-twenty-one Yesterday was a pretty down day. I say that, but in truth it was just another day in a full calendar of down days. I described it as being frozen in time, mired in a tar pit of despair. Darkness has been a constant companion for a couple years now. I’ve tried …
Vortex
Lesbian log twenty-one-zero-six-twenty-one Hello, darkness, my old friend. It’s been awhile since I’ve written on the blog. Weeks of trying to put one foot in front of the other, one breath at a time. Summer has greeted me with its warmth, its sunshine and promise of brighter days. Vibrant and resplendent greens spread before me, …
Yo-Yo
Lesbian log sixteen-zero-four-twenty-one Emotions are a bitch. Coming from someone who isn’t overly fond of ‘experiencing’ their emotions, preferring to bury them rather than let them bubble up and flow over me, I gotta say, breakups are a very unpleasant business. Some days I think I have my head above water, and other times I …
Money Misery
Lesbian log twenty-nine-zero-three-twenty-one Can we talk about money for a second? Like seriously. What a pain in the ass. You work and work, scrounge, save and beg, borrow and steal from Peter to pay Paul. For what? I’ll be the first to admit that I was never good with money. I didn’t really understand the …
Food for One
Lesbian log twenty-six-zero-three-twenty-one Cooking is the bane of my existence. I’m not fond of it. I eat because I have to to survive, and when I finally force myself to cook, I’m a slave to a recipe because I lack confidence in the kitchen. I grew up eating a very bland diet. My father had …